i do have people that care about me. i'm going through a really rough personal time and trying to stay strong, but when someone asks me if i'm ok, i am literally on the brink of tears.
i'm starting to wonder if i made a mistake...i keep trying to tell myself that i didn't - that this was for the best, but a friend pointed out to me that love is not a feeling, it's a choice.
so what was my choice?
to stay and see if things would change? how long do you wait? how long do you tell yourself hey i'll stay around and see if things will get better? maybe i just lost my temper and made a horrible decision. or i made the right decision just saw it out in the wrong way.
let's just leave it at he is a great man....
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
love is...
...not exactly perfect. and when it seems that way, i've learned, something is missing.
i'm not perfect, and i know in my head i can't expect anyone to be perfect.
but you know what i do want? i want passion and romance. it will fade, as a wise person pointed out to me, but not to have that at all - then what? you miss out on the butterflies? you miss out on the smiles that come across your face when you get a sweet email, text, or call?
i know we're not all alike. humans are just meant to be different - otherwise we'd all be boring. but as another relationship has ended, i've learned i need that passion, the fight, that drive - to feel that someone loves me for me. i keep changing for people, when all i need to do is stay and be myself.
i'm not perfect, and i know in my head i can't expect anyone to be perfect.
but you know what i do want? i want passion and romance. it will fade, as a wise person pointed out to me, but not to have that at all - then what? you miss out on the butterflies? you miss out on the smiles that come across your face when you get a sweet email, text, or call?
i know we're not all alike. humans are just meant to be different - otherwise we'd all be boring. but as another relationship has ended, i've learned i need that passion, the fight, that drive - to feel that someone loves me for me. i keep changing for people, when all i need to do is stay and be myself.
Monday, August 13, 2007
on a serious note...
so what do you do when two of your closest friends stop talking to you?
for me, it's been a mourning of sorts. i know what happened and in all honesty, i feel extremely betrayed and hurt. the sad thing is i haven't talked to either one of these people for over a year now. the only communication we have is via email or text, and that is if i make the first move.
i just don't understand where they are coming from, and it's not like either one of them is bold enough to talk to me about it.
and, just like that, 2 people that i used to talk to on a consistent basis - one almost every day, vanished. how do you react? do i summon up the courage to talk to these people? or do i just let it be?
and what i don't understand is that i was a good friend to both of them. always there when they needed me - driving out to seem them if they asked - yet receiving none of that in return. and when they are called out on that, amongst other events, hearing nothing? dropping me as if we didn't share all those intimate details of our lives?
i just don't understand people.
for me, it's been a mourning of sorts. i know what happened and in all honesty, i feel extremely betrayed and hurt. the sad thing is i haven't talked to either one of these people for over a year now. the only communication we have is via email or text, and that is if i make the first move.
i just don't understand where they are coming from, and it's not like either one of them is bold enough to talk to me about it.
and, just like that, 2 people that i used to talk to on a consistent basis - one almost every day, vanished. how do you react? do i summon up the courage to talk to these people? or do i just let it be?
and what i don't understand is that i was a good friend to both of them. always there when they needed me - driving out to seem them if they asked - yet receiving none of that in return. and when they are called out on that, amongst other events, hearing nothing? dropping me as if we didn't share all those intimate details of our lives?
i just don't understand people.
Friday, July 27, 2007
tristan!!!
well, like i said earlier, this year has been pretty low key. i don't have much time to write in my blog, unlike my BFF's hubby Andrew, who is so great about writing in his blog daily.
there are a few things that i would like to get done before i travel to milwaukee for work.
1. go see isabella
2. study for my office test to test out of a class
3. clean my room (no jokes, z)
that's about it. pretty simple, huh? and just enjoy the rest of the summer.
well, san diego went quickly but was fun. and i love my newest little cousin, tristan! he's so adorable!!!
there are a few things that i would like to get done before i travel to milwaukee for work.
1. go see isabella
2. study for my office test to test out of a class
3. clean my room (no jokes, z)
that's about it. pretty simple, huh? and just enjoy the rest of the summer.
well, san diego went quickly but was fun. and i love my newest little cousin, tristan! he's so adorable!!!
Friday, July 13, 2007
low key summer
gone are the days of having 3 months off to do nothing. i have to say, this summer has been pretty low key for me, outside of going to arizona for an extended weekend and my trip to san diego this weekend.
work and school full time will do that to you. but i'm lucky, i have peter to keep me "sane."
hope everyone else is enjoying their summer. i'll fill you in on the weekend trip to san diego, z, since you and my sis will be the only ones reading this! =)
work and school full time will do that to you. but i'm lucky, i have peter to keep me "sane."
hope everyone else is enjoying their summer. i'll fill you in on the weekend trip to san diego, z, since you and my sis will be the only ones reading this! =)
Friday, June 8, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
welcome to the world!
CONGRATULATIONS!
i just wanted to welcome isabella to the world!
my friends colleen and zoran just became parents! i'm so excited for the both of them! congratulations to both of you! you both are going to be wonderful parents. let me know if you need a babysitter. school is crazy, but at least i'll be able to study!
i don't have a picture yet but once i do, i will post it.
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